What is Gender?

Have you ever thought about what the definition of a female and a male is? How do they differ? If we say it’s our genitals (biological sex), then you are saying that trans people before surgery do not exist. That unless they have a surgery they are the gender they were assigned at birth, but we know that’s not true. We also know there are more than two genders (female, male, agender, and everything that falls under non binary). You can look at societies gender norms on what is masculine and what is feminine to describe gender, but that just gender expression, not gender identity (the way you feel in your head). So if it is not by the biological sex of the person or about their “masculinity” or “femininity” what makes you a female and what makes you a man?

This question was on my mind for a few months awhile back and the obvious solution was to discuss it with my sister. I wanted to find out if she could define the word female for me, since I was struggling for an answer. After a long conversation we still could not find a definition for the binary genders: male and female. While I was questioning social constructs even more she could comfortably still identify as a female. (which is not a bad thing, I just had no resolution to my problem)

I knew by the age of 21 I didn’t feel any connection to the male gender (I’m not female to male (FTM) transgender) and that I preferred she/her pronouns rather than they/them(which are gender neutral pronouns) but still I felt I could not fully identify as a woman if I could not define it or have a strong connection to the idea.

After conforming into a binary system for a while I found a new term, demigirl. Demifemale is when someone partially, but not fully identifies as a female and may or may not identify as another gender. For me a demifemale means I am a woman that uses she/her pronouns, but sometimes feels agender/ genderqueer where I don’t feel like I fall on the spectrum of binary gender. I probably won’t use the term demifemale when asked what my gender is. (never ask anyway, if you are curious how to address someone pull them aside and ask their preferred pronouns are.) My not replying with my gender being demifemale is not me being ashamed, but personally i am comfortable most of the time identifying as a female. Just knowing that enough people feel the same way about their gender identity to have a word describe exactly how I feel is wonderful. Representation is important in every aspect of life and people find comfort in knowing they are not strange or alone and that somewhere there is a little community out there for them where they fit in just fine.

Let me know what your definitions and thoughts on female or any other gender are.

If you have time and are interested in learning about new gender identities and gender in general I suggest you watch one of my favorite YouTubers Ashley Mardell’s videos and have your mind be blown of how much we can learn. Demigirl is explained at 2:34 of the Part 2 video.

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