This week I was hit with a bombshell. One of my favorite comedians / actor of my all time favorite television show, Bill Cosby, was accused of drugging and raping over seven women. When I heard this news I was in disbelief, honestly I still am. This scandal was the first celebrity story where I didn’t just write off the person after hearing a few news stories about them. This was different. This seemed personal. Like the media was attacking a family member that I love and have the upmost respect for. I grew up with this man and the thought of him doing anything like this is heartbreaking. I am literally crying over this story as I am writing this. I feel so conflicted and torn. Any other situation or celebrity I would no doubt keep my stance about taking the victims side, especially if the accused attacker is a celebrity because they have the power and resources to keep these situations hushed and pushed under the rug. But don’t get me wrong, I am not what so ever condoning this alleged behavior, I just find it hard letting go of an image of a man I had in my mind. Some people might think that I am taking this way out of proportion and need to accept the fact that he did those heinous crimes, but its not that easy for me. Bill Cosby is the epitome of my childhood. Watching The Cosby Show, Little Bill, A Different World and Kids Say the Darndest Things made television such a wonderful space for people everywhere to enjoy his work. He literally opened so many doors for the black community and broke down barriers that made society look at the black community in a better light. I cannot ignore the work that he has done for television, the black community, and for my life. He and his shows made people believe everyone can achieve greatness. So how am I suppose to feel about this situation? Do I listen to the media outlets, do I go with my gut or do I abandon my principles? Any choice I take I have already lost my innocence, and so did he.