This week is Asexual Awareness week, so I wanted to create a post about this sexuality. I’m sure you have already heard of the terms heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and transexual but there is another very important sexuality, Asexual. Asexuality is when a person does not experience sexual attraction.
The common stigma of Asexuality is someone who is celibate and choosing not to experience sexual encounters or people who are prudes and/or are disgusted by the idea of sex. Being asexual is not a lifestyle choice, but a sexual orientation just like all the other sexualities I mentioned before. But not all Asexuals are the same and some actually will have sex.
Asexuality, just like gender and the other sexualities, are on a scale called spectrums. With Asexuality it’s a very grey area and not one person is the same, which explains why some Asexuals have sex, some masturbate and some have absolutely no sexual interactions at all and are not interested in anything sexual.
There are asexuals who are in relationships with people who are not asexual. There are some asexuals that actual enjoy the pleasures they get from sex or the connection they have during sex and others have absolutely none. Having no desire to ever have sex doesn’t mean they do not want relationships or they cannot get aroused, they just have no desire or need to have those sexual experiences but still can be in relationships.
This concept of sexuality is so complex, and I could talk about forever because there is so many constructs that make up identity. With asexuality and other sexualities, relationships depend on the person’s romantic orientation.
Romantic orientation is what sex or gender a person is most likely going to form a relationship and fall in love with. This is the gender you see yourself ending up with. I will leave romantic orientation for another post, but it just shows how different everyone is and why we cannot put people in a binary box because we just do not fit in them.
Living in a very sexually orientated world is hard for Asexuals to not feel like they are out casted because they were born with a different sexual orientation than what people are aware of. That is why this week is so important, so that Asexuals can build a community, have relationships, gain support, and maybe feel like they belong somewhere.
These two videos break down the complexity of sexual identity. The first is a VlogBrothers video “Human Sexuality is Complicated…” where Hank Green talks about all the different combinations of sexuality. The second video, “Spectrums.” is from HeyThere005 where Ashley Mardell talks about identities and shows you how to map out your identity. I personally love this video and think everyone should be aware of these scales and spectrums.